thing is...i sometimes don't know what it is i'm feeling. i feel too much at once. nothings ever enough....pile one feel on top another....which leads to the many conflictions with self that i tend to have....living life in a bottle...fighting to get to the opening at that top....leaves me tired and aimless....i don't wanna fight no more! that's what i'm thinking.....not necessarily the best solution....victimizing oneself internally should be a crime...punish me to the fullest degree...that way i know where this suffering comes from..
"life so cold there ain't no depth, i'm so free i'm trapped in me, i swear i'd go if i could leave" seems to replay in my head...dancing around various thoughts of negativity...waiting to penetrate the surface. one hurdle. two hurdle. jump jump...but don't fall off track....as i said..i feel too much at once. all i wanna do is feel one thing at a time...there aren't enough hours i day..for the amount of emotions i exposed ona regular. .leaving this sista as vunerable as a new born. open. unsure of which direction to take. i prefer the one that makes a difference. which way is up? so many questions not enough answers...which means..i don't know everything. nor do i claim to know...confusion is confusing.
finding the way through is even more challenging.
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