where does one reside when there's no safety net to fall on? how does one make a move when all the pieces to the game have been played? it seems...how are dreams born when i have none? where's the song in my heart when i'm all out of words?
i reach back- deep within these walls for a solution to carry me over to my next life. my spirit gives birth to this fire inside...but am i to hide this fire when it's been lit? if it were a gift from the creator..why do i feel so punished for the spark? perhaps it's mind over/under matter..and some shit really does matter to me? ponder much but leave something to the imagination to fall in lust with....this gift cursed those who aren't willing to travel the distance to be......just.BE.
expose this soul to show forth what is buried beneath where only i can see...blessed to witness the vunerable and the strong all at once. yet, some still question who i am...question me to question you..that's what i'm here for.
i'm into pleasuring you..and "nothing's more beautiful".
though i live within my head...reality grounds me. knowing understanding and learning through these eyes i witness truth. balance me there along side you.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
It doesn't matter
it doesn't matter.
no matter what i try i still think.u.
tried closing these eyes but somehow
my mind relied on it to pass time...
it doesn't matter.
suffered in silence just to keep this a secret..
words are to sweet...
i need them.these thoughts consumed me..&..
it still doesn't matter.where do i store this feel?
keep it hidden in thebackyard till another time.
if time allows.somehow i'm no longer a believer
in time or space.excuses used to erase &
not embrace our fears ....yet it didn't matter.
wrap these feelings in plastic so they won't
splatter.tip toed around to keep from making
any sounds..as i conclude...what really mattered?
i'm so confused as to what it all means...
my thoughts, feelings, space, time and
lack of words.
should it matter?
no matter what i try i still think.u.
tried closing these eyes but somehow
my mind relied on it to pass time...
it doesn't matter.
suffered in silence just to keep this a secret..
words are to sweet...
i need them.these thoughts consumed me..&..
it still doesn't matter.where do i store this feel?
keep it hidden in thebackyard till another time.
if time allows.somehow i'm no longer a believer
in time or space.excuses used to erase &
not embrace our fears ....yet it didn't matter.
wrap these feelings in plastic so they won't
splatter.tip toed around to keep from making
any sounds..as i conclude...what really mattered?
i'm so confused as to what it all means...
my thoughts, feelings, space, time and
lack of words.
should it matter?
Revelations of self complexity.
an ego trip...not! a revelation. in love with self...bad/good. i love it all. i am the most confident, insecure muthafucker i know! but i do practice what i preach..once the realism kicks in and i'm no longer thinking emotionally. i flip flop moods on a regular basis....i spit while standing on street corners...and sometimes grab the crotch of my pants as if i'm reliving a past life...where i was once a man. balanced on shaky ground.
i spit words like truth, god, honesty and love on a regular...i'm adament about giving....although it's a task receiving it. but i'm the teacher so someone has to be the student. i'm materialistic but so nag champion bohemian my scent lights up the room. you know i've been in your space. the scent is forever in your pillowcase. i'm of the world cause i live in it. truth that there's a mighty creator...but oh so skeptic that jesus ever was.....fuck your prescription pills-herb is my medicine..heals all my ailments. i puff when i awake...puff before i rest....i'll spark herb till i can't. love me or leave me alone. i'd die for my family...that includes my own. i am an attention whore seeking to be alone. unfocused - knows what she wants.
rude gal..moody blues..in love with all things natural...yes women too. i recognize the GODIS is u. i speak what i feel but am often quiet..till provoked. i arhbor much anger from childhood past....knowledge from growth through the years. i'm lazy and inspired all at once. organized and confused in the same sentence. i appear close but am so far away. fuck time. i make my own. i don't own a watch, still i know the hour. i rise early in the am...fall asleep late in the am. addicted to footwear and music...my drugs of choice. a singer but i sometimes hate the sound of my own voice. fixated on the stars, cosmic astrology, religion and the mind. anything occult i find of interest...haven't been to church in many years. god is within. my own energy drains me at times..i'm often surrounded by those who find light in my spirit...i'm too consumed in my thoughts to notice those flirting with this ball of confusion.
complex simplicity. fighting diversity as i'm simply human. i am all things. not just one. shallow and deep..swimming in the same ocean. gone off the deep end just to make a point. celibate with sex on the mind constantly..humorous and serious the next. ass lover by law...with a dislike for my own breast. lol. excited on the inside but i rarely smile on the out..attracted to some of god's most beautiful creations. struggling vegetarian with a weakness for cheese...the peace keeper and shit starter. the knowledge and the dummy. gift and the curse. southern drawl speaking proper grammer "run..on sentence" fragments....through thoughts. drip drop of the mind...water. think b4 i speak...forget to think b4 reacting...emotional nonchalant rollercoaster....riding this life.
i am complex.
i spit words like truth, god, honesty and love on a regular...i'm adament about giving....although it's a task receiving it. but i'm the teacher so someone has to be the student. i'm materialistic but so nag champion bohemian my scent lights up the room. you know i've been in your space. the scent is forever in your pillowcase. i'm of the world cause i live in it. truth that there's a mighty creator...but oh so skeptic that jesus ever was.....fuck your prescription pills-herb is my medicine..heals all my ailments. i puff when i awake...puff before i rest....i'll spark herb till i can't. love me or leave me alone. i'd die for my family...that includes my own. i am an attention whore seeking to be alone. unfocused - knows what she wants.
rude gal..moody blues..in love with all things natural...yes women too. i recognize the GODIS is u. i speak what i feel but am often quiet..till provoked. i arhbor much anger from childhood past....knowledge from growth through the years. i'm lazy and inspired all at once. organized and confused in the same sentence. i appear close but am so far away. fuck time. i make my own. i don't own a watch, still i know the hour. i rise early in the am...fall asleep late in the am. addicted to footwear and music...my drugs of choice. a singer but i sometimes hate the sound of my own voice. fixated on the stars, cosmic astrology, religion and the mind. anything occult i find of interest...haven't been to church in many years. god is within. my own energy drains me at times..i'm often surrounded by those who find light in my spirit...i'm too consumed in my thoughts to notice those flirting with this ball of confusion.
complex simplicity. fighting diversity as i'm simply human. i am all things. not just one. shallow and deep..swimming in the same ocean. gone off the deep end just to make a point. celibate with sex on the mind constantly..humorous and serious the next. ass lover by law...with a dislike for my own breast. lol. excited on the inside but i rarely smile on the out..attracted to some of god's most beautiful creations. struggling vegetarian with a weakness for cheese...the peace keeper and shit starter. the knowledge and the dummy. gift and the curse. southern drawl speaking proper grammer "run..on sentence" fragments....through thoughts. drip drop of the mind...water. think b4 i speak...forget to think b4 reacting...emotional nonchalant rollercoaster....riding this life.
i am complex.
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