Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Please, be honest with self/ Crazy thing bout love is..

if more people were honest with themselves then it's much
easier to be honest with YOU!
-
nkybaaw


sure, we say "i'm an honest person, or i'm upfront about this or that"...but when the time comes and opportunity pours...what happens...you return to your shells thus NOT being honest with anyone....not even you! your hiding! "COME OUT, COME OUT whereever you are!" i see you for what you are. and there's nothing wrong with any of it....we have to learn who we are and what our makeup involves...then it's much easier to LIVE within our bodies and transmit some REAL shit to others. caught up are we??? remember...game will always recognize game. BEEN THERE DONE THAT...and now i'm more aware of who and what i am. so it's easier to treat a bitch like a bitch and a godis as that! i've been and am both. role play....you say. i think so....each of us has a certain role to play in life...thing is determining what role that is...and living up to that so called role. it's ok.

i've played these roles as following: thief, naive little girl, sensitive chic who gets by on that(remember i'm an aries(masters @ disguise) and i can play roles WELL), negative nigga(whew who doesn't know 1 of these), lowdown dirty scoundrel, the chic who'll steal your girl(this one is fun fun), positive inscense burner(respectively nag champions), clueless, pimpin tiff with the dope shoes(wait i still fiddle with this one er now and again.lol-looks r deceiving), that chic who just don't give a FCUK!, naughty bitch, confused, nasty girl..ok yall get the point...but once i realized just how many faces i could possibly have....i learned MORE and MORE about who i was....some of the shit i really didn't like. others i struggle with NOW to change or balance out with what it is i want to be.....and that's a positive sista, who's very honest with herself, open sometimes vunerable to those i REALLY care about, with dreams that are now becoming reality-millionariess who can finally afford ms. ...........right. lol! yeah!(i know what u were thinking-but i didn't say it...snicker*) fact is...i'm not getting any younger and i want to possibly have those 2 lil bambino's i talk about...so i can help raise em...and school em and hip them to GOOD MUSIC...i always dreamed or raising a lil music prodigy...mogul child....lol don't laugh at my dreams yo! this is real shit....but i had to realize parts of who i was to get me to become who i need to be.

lessons. and they don't stop. so we're 4ever learning.
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1 crazy thing about love is: you never stop loving. once you've been in it...it's there...implanted on your brain. not your heart...your heart only pumps blood and controls your flow.
i was in love once...and she was some of the things i always wanted. but couldn't be all because of her struggle to know self. & i respect the hell outta you for it! hmmm. we all struggle with self..but some of us take this struggle very serious...she's no different. there were things i didn't understand at the time....but of course i wouldn't..love blinded me.


crazy thing about love is.....crazy & love appear to be the same. the way it makes you feel. that fine line with both....insanity. makes you do strange things.

it was GREAT hearing your voice and your words...they mean so much to me. i know that we are now in different walks of life..but i wish you well in yours. i'm happiest for you that your happy...because i know what you've gone through to get to that place. there are no grudges held...for what? you were and still are one of my good FRIENDS. that won't change...growth. i see it in you.....and it is beautiful! take care and fcuking keep a sis posted on that wedding issue! keep spreading those wings!
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oh, just wanted to say..if yall bitches don't have or haven't heard of julie dexter...and you call yourself "INTO" music...especially soul, jazz type sounds...and you don't have julie.....YOUR MISSING OUT BATCHES! go GIT IT HOE! JULIE-i wanna marry you!
that's all....return to your cubes and continue working. thanks.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is some of the best shit that I have ever read from you. It touched me in a way that only reality can. I love you, no matter.